Friday, June 28, 2013

Modesty IS an Issue Part #2

I asked some of my mom friends about modesty and here are some replies...

APW: I think the thing we need to remember is there ARE erogenous zones on a woman's body (whether we like to think about it or not). Whether or not this makes us uncomfortable doesn't really matter-- it is fact.  Men are turned on by what they see with their eyes- also fact. Hemlines and necklines should cover these zones- if they don't, you will have to prove to me how you are being modest because I can't see it.  I agree that there are women who have no idea.  Honestly, I was one of those girls.  I sort of knew what was attractive but never did I know the extent of what it did to a man, nor did I care.  I only thought about me.  It was an area of my life that needed to be surrendered.  If you have never asked God to show you what you should wear or left the decision up to the prompting of the Holy Spirit than it is wrong.  I have heard said, "You can tell the condition of woman's heart of surrender by what she does with her dress; and you can tell a man's by what he does with his wallet."  I think we need to be educating the next generation.  I am so proud of our teen girls because they are developing modesty convictions on their own and it is so awesome! T hey want God to be pleased with their behavior.  So even in our ever-changing culture it can be done!  There is hope if someone will be willing to stand, point out right from wrong (in love), and educate others on Scripture.  People need to be taught a proper view of their body from God's perspective and stop leaving it up to the world about what we should wear and how we should wear it.

KA: I don't think the question is how short is too short or how much cleavage is being shown. The question is are you, as a woman, thinking about the clothes you put on your body and what the purpose of wearing those clothes are.  I might put on something "revealing" for my husband (behind closed doors) for reasons I think we are all aware of.   However, when I go out to places I make sure that I am not wearing something, I wouldn't be uncomfortable wearing in front of my dad.  Being a bigger busted woman I have to be VERY careful about what I wear. It is hard to find shirts that aren't too low even WITH a shirt underneath it.

LSI think KA hit the nail on the head - its not about how many inches of skin we're showing or how much of a roundness is detected on our chest (unfortunately some of us aren't blessed with enough cleavage, lol).  But the bigger question is "What is our goal with our clothing?"  I also have known very godly women who wear immodest clothing; my husband and I have had several conversations about it because we see so much of it being in student ministry, coming from both the students and the other ministry leaders.  I think some people don't realize it (I even went through a phase like that, and when my husband and I started dating, he asked that I not wear certain items because they were revealing - I was one of those clueless girls).  I also think some people don't think of their choices are immodest because of the culture they're in. Example, my friend A visits Brazil a LOT for missions and leisure (married a guy from there).  Because all women in Brazil wear string bikinis, the Christians think nothing of it when they wear something that covers more than what everybody else wears, but less than what we here would wear.  My friend wore 2-pieces down there all the time that she wouldn't wear here because the culture is different.  They weren't skimpy, just regular 2-pieces. I can't really say how guys viewed that down there; maybe because they saw so much skin anyway, seeing a 2-piece was no big deal to them? Don't know.

The wife of the President of our seminary here is very passionate about modesty and even wrote a widely distributed brochure about it. She brings to people's attention that God's reason for creating clothing in the first place was to cover up the shame that sin created.  In our sinful nature, people try to remove that clothing as much as possible. I think even Christians have forgotten WHY God wants us clothed.  We must be very intentional about our dress habits and how we teach our children about it (not "these are the rules and you must dress this way" but instead "this is why God wants us to wear certain things"). That said, I do think there is some room for personal conviction on the subject.

I Tim 2:9-10 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

TCF: Modesty means that you're not calling attention to yourself because of what you wear. The rich clothing, the braided hair, the pearls--those called attention to the wearer in the first century.  It's VERY helpful to have an honest person in your life who can say to you, "No one will pay attention to your kindness (faithfulness, graciousness, holiness . . . ) when you're wearing that." 

These are some GREAT thoughts. Thank you ladies! - Rejoicing in the present

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