Ladies, it is Biblical and it is part of a plan that God designed to give us peace. I am just learning this all myself and I am probably the worst example in the world of submission. In fact, if you want lessons on what NOT to do, come live with me for a week. :-(
I would like that attitude to change and, thus, this study. So why do I feel the need to blog about it? I am sharing this with you all because of the personal conviction I have had as well as the peace I have seen it bring.
I Peter 3:1-7 says "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
What is asked of wives?
- Be in subjection to your husband
- Why? To win them to God
- Don't be obsessed with the outward
- Why? Beause a "meek and quiet spirit" is precious to God
- Instead: Be God obsessed
What is asked of husbands?
- Dwell with understanding
- Give honor to them
- Love your wives (Ephesians 5:25)
Example in the Old Testament
Sarah was used here as an example. She obeyed Abraham (she complied with his command and direction) and she even called him "lord". That means she was saying that he was the ruler and master of the house. This lord is lower case, so she was not calling him her god. T his would be wrong and harmful in their relationship, but she was letting him rule over the house. In return, she was labeled a "holy woman who trusted in God". Wouldn't we love that, to be labeled in God's book as someone who trusted in God!
We notice here, where Sarah got the strength to follow her husband and to let him lead. It resulted from her trust in God. She trusted that God was in control and thus she submitted to Him and that led to submission in the home.
What difference would it make in your home?
When we submit, our husbands feel respected and many of them do what they were intended to do, lead the home. Is this always easy? Will your husband always make the right decision? No, he is human and makes mistakes, but if we pray for him and trust in God, then we can know that we are doing the right thing. We will not be held responsible for his mistakes, only the ones that we make. So, what changes could you make?
"Without a word"
In the first verse it says that our husbands can be won "without a word" What are the words that we have? Are we preaching, nagging, lecturing, harassing, goading, nagging and answering back? What is our body language "saying"?: silent treatments, pouting, sulking, scheming, bargaining, coercing, humiliating and much more. When you act in this way, you trust in yourself to change your husband and not God. Our life is and can be a message to our husbands from God.
But what if...
So what if your husband is not a Christian or he just isn't living for the Lord? The Bible says we are to be submissive to the disobedient husband, as well as to the obedient. In fact when we are obedient, we actually have the opportunity to lead them to God. You are NOT responsible for your husband, you are only responsible for YOU! Your husband is God's job. Trust it to him and leave that to him. Pray for your husband; it's a hard job, that he has.
So a reminder...what is submission?
Here are some definitions of submission:...to rank oneself under...to accept the authority of another...Respect the rank and God-ordained authority of another...to put oneself into an attitude of submission. It's an attitude and a respect for God's design for the home. Trust God, that He knows what He is doing and do what you need to do. How do we do this? Verse 16 says as "servants of God".
"Submission is a mark of security - not a spineless cringing, based on insecurity and fear. It is voluntary unselfishness, a willing and cooperative spirit that seeks the highest good for her husband.... He observes her compelling behavior, the silent eloquence of a lovely life - his heart will eventually soften toward spiritual things." - Chuck Swindoll
Gentle, meek, humble - such is precious, not only to her husband but mostly to GOD! Thanks to Elizabeth George for all the great information and of course, thanks to our heavenly Father who is "great in counsel and mighty in work" and "nothing is to hard for Him" (Jer. 32) - Rejoicing in the present.