A Letter To Moms with Physical Limitations

Alicia, our next writer, is a godly pastor's wife as well as a mother to six beautiful children.  She is a voice of wisdom and when she speaks, you listen.  :-)  So with that being said, I am excited to introduce to you our next amazing mama, Alicia from This Enabled Life. - Rejoicing in the Present

As a little girl, I had so many baby dolls! I named them, changed them into their jammies at night, and played with them as much as I could. I couldn’t wait to grow up and have a bunch of real babies. This was an actual talking point with my husband before we married. I wanted to make sure that he loved the idea of a large family as much as I did. He did.

In March of 2009, I was 5 months pregnant with my 6th baby. I got very sick and was in a tremendous amount of pain. I lay down to take a nap and when I woke up, I was completely paralyzed. After much time and testing, I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Transverse Myelitis. Paralysis, and a life raising all of my children from a wheelchair, was NOT in my game plan.

After almost 5 years in my chair, and having a houseful of kids that range from toddler to teen, I have a few things I would like to say about parenting. There is much written about parenting a special-needs child, but little written about being the parent with the special need. Here are some things that I have learned.

1. We are capable of being great parents!
I cannot tell you the times that people will be shocked to learn that, as a paralyzed woman, I am capable of having children. Women in chairs can conceive and carry a baby like other women. Modern medicine can help couples where the man is disabled. Depending on your disability, you will definitely have to plan around your disability and your specific needs. Our disability is a factor in having children, but it is certainly not the deciding factor. If you want a family, go for it!

2. My children are not my aides.
I think this is important to remember. I see people look at my children with such pity at times and it really makes me want to scream! They are my kids. They do not suffer. They do not take care of me. We were a big ship to run….even before I became paralyzed! My children do their share of chores. I want them to know how to make their beds, clean their room, do laundry, cook, and take care of the yard. They did these things before my chair and they still do them. I love how my children love me and desire to help me out, but my children do not take care of me.

3. We can give kids what they need.
Typical parenting has many physical stereotypes. Commercials are full of dads throwing footballs, moms running the soccer carpool, hiking with their family….are you feeling all of the physical activity? I think one of the reasons that disabled parenting gets such a negative response is because we don’t necessarily fit the typical active parenting mold. I don’t think we have to be all that to give our children what they need.

I think that the most important thing that you can give children is not activity. It is love, attention, quality time, and focusing on their precious hearts. My kids love activity, and I get in on as much of it as I can, but, realistically, I cannot do what I used to do with them. Do you know what I have noticed though? I have a lot more time to just sit and listen to them. I have a lap that is always available for my little ones to climb up on. There is more time to watch cartoons with them on days I don’t feel as well. I have had more one-on-one time with my kids since I became paralyzed than I did before. Our relationship has become much better…not worse. Even with a teenager!

4. We will improve society.
As parents with disabilities, we are raising kids who will enter society with a heart for the disabled. What a gift that we wish many more had! My kids already find the special-needs kids to be a friend too, and my older ones have already told me that they would have no issue at all with marrying someone with a disability. I love that!

5. Being a mom helps me deal with my disability.
My kids are one of my greatest reasons to deal with the frustrations that can come with being paralyzed. They are watching me. They are learning, by my example, how to handle hardships in life. They are learning about attitude, confidence, acceptance, resolve, determination and happiness. Knowing they are watching me handle this disabled life makes me humbled to show them the right way. It is a wonderful reason to get up and get going in the morning.

Being a mom is a precious gift. I did not choose to become paralyzed, but if it had to happen, I sure am thankful that I am surrounded by my children. Life is beautiful…especially when you are a parent! - Alicia Reagan

A Letter to Moms that Have Miscarried

I have asked a group of wonderful moms to share their life experiences.  They are all beautiful women with amazing journeys, but this one happens to be my favorite writer.  She is not only a super-mom of 4 kids and 2 angel babies but also my amazing big-sister. - Rejoicing in the Present

“At least you didn’t really have time to get attached.” Those were the words of a friend and they stung. I felt my eyes burning and my heart ached so deeply. If she only knew that I would give my right arm to “have more time to get attached.” What I would give to watch one more ultrasound of that tiny heartbeat. I would gladly wake up in the middle of the night with heartburn a million more times.

I remember going into the doctor’s office after I had lost my baby and the receptionist asked me “Are you pregnant?”.....I squeaked out a “Not any more” with tears flooding my eyes. She pushed her glasses up further on her nose and snapped right into business mode. “You are going to have to pay a co-pay then.” I wanted to scream. "Didn’t you hear me! Not anymore! I WAS pregnant! My baby is gone. I can barely hold myself together at this moment and you want me to pay a co-pay!" In the middle of that busy bustling doctor’s office I felt empty and all alone. No one understood. No one cared. Since I didn’t give birth to my baby, it was like I was never pregnant. Like it never happened.

That was eight years ago and I now have four healthy children, but as I type this I still cannot hold back the tears. It doesn’t matter how much time goes by. It doesn’t matter how many children I have. It doesn’t matter how busy life gets. I still, after all these years, long to hold that baby in my arms. It was one of my children. It was important. It was wanted. It was loved.

I often feel like, in today’s world, miscarriages are overlooked and pushed aside. I have heard so many comments from well-meaning people like “It must have had something wrong with it” or “I am sure you will have another one.” What is so important to that grieving mommy is passed by and overlooked!

Others may not see. More likely, others just don’t understand. But do you know who always sees? Who knows every tear we have ever cried? Who feels that empty hole in our hearts? EL ROI--the God who sees! There is no hiding from Him. He sees, He knows, He understands and He always cares.

Psalm 139:10 says that He will hold us. When we cannot go on. When the tears will not stop. When no one understands. He will hold us.

Run to Him and let Him be your strength.

Even more importantly, our Heavenly Father never forgets! As the years go by, I feel like I am the only one who remembers that I don’t just have 4 kids. I have six! Isaiah 49:15 & 16 are the most comforting verse to me when I feel like my babies are forgotten. Verse 15 tells us that even if a mother forgets her own child, He will not forget them. In fact, vs. 16 goes on to tell us that He will carve them upon the palm of His hand. What a comfort! My babies will never be forgotten. They are “carved upon the very hands of God.”

-Faith Pinkerton

Their Stories for His Glory

Mother's Day comes around once a year and I always struggle with the same dilemma.

On one hand, I want to praise mothers and thank them for all they do. As a mom, it’s not hard for me to realize that moms do A LOT and being a mom is more than a job--it’s a lifetime commitment. As a child of the world’s greatest mom, I also just want to shout praises to the world about how blessed I am.

…but on the other hand, there is an overwhelming cloud over my writing, because I know and am friends with quite a few women who have very heavy loads they are carrying. Mother’s Day is one of the hardest days they face during the year.

Last year, I wrote a letter to “That Woman" who struggled with Mother’s Day. There was an overwhelmingly positive response and, praise the Lord, it encouraged a few souls. (And if you know someone who struggles on Mother’s Day, please feel free to share it with them.)

This year, I am OUT-OF-MY-MIND EXCITED about the opportunity to share with you some of the stories of these women I mentioned above. Over the next couple weeks, up until Mother’s Day, I am going to share with you the journeys of some really amazing women. They are going to share with you the story that God gave them and how He got them or is currently getting them through it. Some of them are going to share how you can help them on Mother’s Day.

I pray and hope that this will encourage you, whether you are walking paths similar to theirs or you are trying to help others traveling those paths.

So now, I’m going to stop talking and let you hear from them. Stay tuned...

- Rejoicing in the Present

Lost My Phone Again!!!

How many times a week does this happen? 

I don't know. 

Ask my husband and he will say hourly.  :-)  I am terrible about losing mine.  I would probably be better off with a phone that was connected to the wall.  :-) 

Anyway...

I found something that is AMAZINGLY helpful. 

Did you know that you can send a text via email?????

Yep!!!

STORY ALERT:  My Saturday morning was a little stressful; I was working on some things with "A" when my phone rang.  "T", of course, thought it was a great time for me to read a book and brought me CORDUROY to read.  I talked to my hubs about some events that were taking place later that day.  Then, distracted, I set the phone down and laid the book on top if it.  :( ...and then continued to work with "A".

By afternoon, it had been gone for a while.   Due to the events of the day, I needed to call my husband immediately.  I started getting stressed, "T" was asleep and I couldn't go any where.  I didn't know what to do.

THEN, I thought, I wonder if you can send a text via email.  I know I have sent messages to an email before, so it should work vice versa.  So I googled it and I found out that you can!!!!

I figured out the correct code and sent a text to my husband. "Please call me and keep calling until I answer. I lost my phone. - J."  I wasn't sure if it was going to work but, within minutes, my phone started ringing and, shortly after, I found it under the book. 

YAY!!!! ...So how do you do it???? 

First, you have to have an email account.  :-)

Then you type the 10-digit phone number in front of the phone carrier's address.  Let me give you an example. Let's say your friend/family member uses AT&T.  Then you would put in their number and their gateway.

EXAMPLE:  1234567890@mms.att.net

Thanks to Digital Trends for the info, as well as the carriers' gateways.  See below for list of each carrier's address.  I was so grateful for this info.  It was a lifesaver.  I hope this helps someone else. For more information on how-to go to Digital Trends. - Rejoicing in the Present

Respecting God's Ways

I was at a "Family Event" this weekend. At it's core, the event supported cancer-affected families. I love that. There was a bounce house, face painting, carnival games and food booths. I was excited to take Avery because of the fun.

Just as we were walking up, I started to become concerned with the music that was blaring over the event. The music was far from family-friendly.

Thankfully, the bounce house was far enough away from the music that it wasn't a concern, but while Avery played I noticed something else going on. The event was these men dressing up like women. It was a "big joke." I get it. I get that people fighting cancer is NOT a joke and sometimes you need something to laugh about. I get that sometimes you have to go outside your box and do something crazy to show your support for these dear precious people.

...but I also know that God says in Proverbs 14:9 that "Fools make a mock at sin." It also says in Deuteronomy 22:5 "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God."

Abomination means that God is literally disgusted by it and that He hates it!

Wow, that is pretty strong!!

Folks, this is BIBLE!!! We either stand for what God stands for, or we all FALL.

More and more, God's principles are being clouded. We need to go back to the Bible and pull out what God says is pure and lovely and true and right and follow those things.

We've got to stand for truth!!!!!!!

I was very disappointed and took our little guy out of the situation before he knew what was going on.

I like a good laugh, like anybody else, but NOT at the expense of upsetting God. ...something to think about. :-)  - Rejoicing in the Present

Girding Ourselves With Truth

What does it mean to gird yourself with truth?

Why do we even need to do that?

What is so important?

Ephesians 6:13-14 says " Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;"

Another version says "Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth."

Life is a battle. There is sin all around us and the more years I live, the more sin I see made acceptable. 

So what is sin? Sin is anything you do that God says not to do OR anything you don't do when God says He wants you to do it. 

So when God says that marriage is between a man and a woman--it is. 

When God says not have sex outside of marriage, then it's sin any other way.

When God says to only worship Him, then anything else you put above Him, is sin. 

When God says don't covet, dont! When God says don't lie, don't!

I could go on, but you get the picture. ...and if you are struggling to get the picture, READ THE BIBLE. It will show you what is right and what is wrong.

Truth is simply God's opinion on ANY subject matter. - Priscilla Shirer

In our "evil day," we have to be able to stand. One of the interesting things I have learned is that the belt that was used to gird the soldier didn't just guard the most sensitive part of his body but also it was large and long. So it looked more like a back brace and, indeed, it functioned as one as well. In fact, it would provide essential support to him while he was fighting the battle.

We are to grid ourselves with truth. We must know the truth. We must meditate on it. It must be what we line up our lives to. ...and when we are in the midst of the battle, it will be what supports us as we stand against the devil. - Rejoicing in the Present

#armourofGodstudy

The Healer

Matthew 4:23-25 "And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people. And his fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatick, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them. And there followed him great multitudes of people from Galilee, and from Decapolis, and from Jerusalem, and from Judaea, and from beyond Jordan."

Did you notice that Jesus didn't just heal blindness or just heal the lame? He didn't just heal physical issues but He also healed psychological issues. He healed the mentally ill, the physically ailing, the spiritually dead and the emotionally broken. 

Most of all, He healed our torn relationship with God our Father.

Here is a thought for today: Jesus can heal ANY and EVERY issue that you face. 

So don't run to the phone, don't run to your friends, the bank or the doctor. Before you do anything else, kneel and take your issue to the Healer of ALL. - Rejoicing in the Present