Here is part of the article from sierramadres.blogspot.com. To read the rest, please go to her website.
Sorry my little boys act like... little boys.
You know what I have been
working really hard on?
Not apologizing for the
fact that I have little boys,
who act and behave like...
(gasp!)... little boys.
Now I'm the one with the
three little boys. Sometimes I look back and remember her when I sweep up the
massive pile from my floor every night (okay, sometimes every other night.) I
think of her when my boys are the ones being crazy and screaming and jumping on
the couch, spilling self-poured milk all over the counter, eating weird stuff
out of the fridge (or trash/off the floor/out from under the couch... I'm just
being real.)
She never apologized to me
for her boys. She never said "oh my, I am so sorry he is melting down, he
is so tired and etc. etc." or "sorry, they should not be jumping on the couch,
BOYS STOP! GET DOOOOOWN!" or "sorry they are being so crazy" or "sorry, I'm
so embarrassed my house is a mess, these kids... " She never apologized for her
messy and beautiful life with small kids. And that ministers to me as a mom of
little boys now. Because I feel like I am ALWAYS apologizing for my sons and
their behavior.
Sorry Eli's crabby, he
hasn't had a nap.
Sorry, they are just
excited, I'll tell them to quiet down.
Sorry the house is trashed,
we just had a play group here.
Sorry Gabriel is dressed
like an orphan, he picked out his own clothes this morning.
Sorry we are late. I had to
get three kids ready by myself.
Sorry his room is a mess, I
didn't get around to cleaning it yesterday.
Sorry the coffee shop is a
special outing for them, so yes they are going to accidentally spill their
water, touch every cute plant in the middle of the tables, and smear their faces
on the front of the bakery display case as they are filled with excitement as
they decide what cookie they are going to have. Sorry you are being distracted
from your book or quiet conversation by their squeals of delight. Sorry they are
standing in front of the door while you are trying to get in. (Maybe you could
smile at my kids or wave 'hello' instead of giving them and me dirty
looks.)
SORRY.
sorry. SoRrY.
They
are not adults.
They
are little boys.
Well, sorry. I am done
saying sorry. I am done being embarrassed. I am done feeling like I am doing
society a great disservice when I bring my kids out in public. I have to bring
my kids to the library or restaurants or wherever we will frequent as a family
so that they can learn the rules and etiquette of being out and about in public.
I am doing nothing helpful by apologizing to my friends and other moms for the
same exact stuff that their children do or will do when they get older. I am
learning that how I live my life as a mom of little ones can actually be helpful
and encouraging to other moms going through the same stuff if I am just
real. Just like Amy did for
me.
Amy is still a part of my
life, and I love laughing with her about all that I observed and learned from
her back in the earlier years. She continues to encourage me by being real
evidence that you do make it through the tough years, your house will not be
trashed forever, kids will sleep-in someday and that in the future your kids
will be able to pour milk by themselves and not spill it all over. I sure love
you Amy. Especially since you let my little ones spill all over
your table now.
So. That is my goal as of
late, to stop treating my kids as though they are something to be apologized
for. - this is my favorite line
I don't believe in letting your child terrorize a person, a place, or an object but I do feel that children should still be allowed to be children. My child is a gift from God and I'm going to enjoy him, and not apologize. - rejoicing in my present. :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment