I continue to trust that I serve a risen Savior and that He goes to prepare a place for me. I know that death is not the end. Death is a beginning of eternity with Jesus Christ in Heaven for those who know him as their personal Savior. “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).
If you have experienced or are going through loss, no one can tell you exactly why. You most likely will never receive an answer. The hardest thing for me was accepting that God probably would never tell me exactly why we lost our first child.
It was incredibly hard also to come to terms with what I believed my life would look like and what it actually did look like. I had to grieve my own ideas and plans. It’s so painful when God tells you “No.” Learning to accept what God has for you is mandatory for our spiritual health.
Please remember that even when it’s painful God does everything for our good.
Also, please forgive those around you who say insensitive things. I could write pages and pages about the thoughtless things that were said or done. People are just that--people. They do not know what to do or say. I did not know a soul that had gone through anything similar to my painful situation. The most comforting people simply said, “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m praying for you.”
It was always so disconcerting when people tried to explain why I was experiencing the pain. “God needed another angel.” “He knows how much you can take.”
Surround yourself with godly, wise counselors. Do not vent to people that don’t know the Lord. Remember how Job’s friends were? They sat and made accusations against Job. They were his friends but they were clueless. Don’t be surprised when it happens to you.
Be cautious how you react while you are grieving. It is better to say nothing than to say something you will regret. Give yourself space to grieve. Take time to write down your feelings. Be gracious to your spouse who is also grieving. Do not expect others to understand how you are grieving and what stage you are in.
If you feel up to it, contact a support group of people who are grieving similar losses. Listen to Christian music about peace and the faithfulness of God. I had mini-worship sessions in my kitchen while doing dishes. I would weep and raise my hands to Heaven like a child waiting for my Father to pick me up in His loving arms.
Now that we are five years on the other side of grief, I can tell you that not only did God test my faith but God also proved Himself faithful when tested. I held fast to His promises and waited on God. He proved that He was indeed faithful. He did give peace that passed all understanding. He did not leave me or forsake me. He was a strong tower and covered me with His wings. He did hold us up. He did give us strength. He did love us with an everlasting love. Trust God. Give Him a chance to show you He is faithful.
Rebecca Lamb
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